The Beauty of Seasons

Hey there 🙂

It’s been a long time, huh? I know…

I’d love to tell you a story. The tale of a journey, although not in whole. So, grab your refreshment, get comfy and let’s begin…

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The walk through the valley. The journey of a single set of footprints. A period of dryness. In a nutshell, the dark night of the soul.

All these phrases being perfect descriptions of the past couple of months for this young lady.

I’ll be honest. It has not been the easiest of times. It’s been a season of stretching, of pruning and of serious trimming. A season of inner silence and dryness. A time where many questions have been asked. Basically, it has been quite the trying time. And I don’t say this to dampen the atmosphere of this post, but to be as real and raw and honest as can be.

And after quite a long period of cold, I feel some warmth slowly return and see some light beginning to peek. Not that it was never there but that my eyes couldn’t see it and they needed to be cleansed, to be reopened once more.

It surprises me that at this time, I am more grateful for this season than I was in the beginning, grateful of walking in it and of all the trials. Grateful to God for taking me through this time. Grateful for this period of silence.

Why, you may ask?

Well, let me explain…

~ I realised the huge difference between knowing that something exists and in experiencing it first-hand. In having to preach to people about the immense grace of God as compared to being on my knees, burdened by my sin and shame and weaknesses, but having the grace of God lifting me up. Having that crazy insane grace wipe your tears and tell you, “Hush, hush, it’s okay. I know it. But it’s finished. I finished it on the cross. Now, rest in Me. Rest in my grace. Rest in my mercy.” And there is nothing as enthralling as this. Nothing as amazing as this.

• “It’s hard truth and ridiculous grace,
  To be known fully known and loved by You…” – Known by Tauren Wells

~ It became a chance for growth.

I honestly say that there were points when I got tired of striving further in my walk. Asking myself: Why? Why do i have to if i don’t feel like it? And during a number of times, a couple of pity parties were thrown. It was the easier option to get comfortable. Comfortable in a space of not being convicted. Comfortable in old patterns of thought, behaviour and action. Comfortable in lack of growth.

But by His strength, not my own, it had to stop somewhere. I had to put on my big girl pants. I had to refuse to settle for comfort. Refuse to chase feelings with regards to faith. I had to be detached from the feeling of wanting to read the Bible to having to do it because it is neccesary for growth and nourishment. Being detached from the feeling of wanting to sing and dance and praise but having to do it as a deliberate choice, as a thanksgiving offering to Him and in use of my gifts from Him.

Was it easy? No. But was it worth it? Now, I can say absolutely yes!

The seeds of praise came to yield good harvest during the long nights when I would stay up and all I had to offer was my song. My words. My trying heart.  The Word read on days when I didn’t want to came to offer consolation in later days, when all I could hold on to was, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding…” And therein lay immense growth.

~ God’s character shown through most amazingly.

As I said before, it’s possible to preach about who God is, about His goodness, about His nature. Now, the ballgame changes when you experience it for real. When you come to truly know that you are loved. When the beauty of the cross and what He accomplished through it hits you. When even in the loneliness, you can sense His gentle urging and leading as the True Shepherd. When He welcomes you back each and every time you stray, experiencing the unique love of the Father to the prodigal son.

And after this experience, dear friend, your witness is enriched. When you come to preach of who He is and what He’s done, it becomes more powerful. More honest. And certainly, more relatable.

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I am awed. Awed by this King of ours. Awed by what He has in store for us, not only as gifts, but with regards to knowing Him and loving Him.

I see how much of our limited view can limit His work in our life. I see the need to let go and run into His arms. Like a good friend of mine once said, you run into His arms like a kid running into the arms of the Father, knowing you’ll be held, knowing you’ll be caught.

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Dear friend, I share this experience to just encourage you. Do find beauty in your season. Beauty in your unique silent moments. Purpose in hidden times of stretching.

I know it may not be easy, and I know you may have been in your particular season for a long time. But keep on keeping on! You’ve made it thus far. Ask Him to keep you strong and steady. That He may make your steps firm and sure as you pursue Him. That He may show you the purpose of this time. That He may also open your eyes to see what He has to teach you around you and what you may be blind to, may He open your eyes to it. Like Elisha prayed for Gehazi, that you may have the confidence and humility to say. “Lord, open my eyes that I may see.”

And that through this, may you come to know Him deeper, and in doing so, know yourself more.

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The ways of God are beautifully mysterious. And it’s okay to be scared and uncertain at times. But, knowing the character of God, knowing His warm nature, knowing His loving self, knowing that He’ll never leave you nor forsake you, and knowing that He is the One who began the good work in you and that He will be faithful to follow through with it and complete it…knowing all these, you can trust in Him. I tell you without any doubt, you can trust Him.

So, dear friend, whatever period you may be in, whether you feel God or not, keep being faithful. Keep pursuing. Keep striving. Keep faithful.

And may you find beauty in your season.

 

I’m here with you, cheering you on!

Lots of love and prayers for you

 

Oh, and by the way, do listen to this song. Absolutely beautiful 🙂

• Gracefully Broken – Tasha Cobbs Leonard [from the album Heart. Passion. Pursuit.]